I would like to strive to be able to say I go into
everything, laser tag included, with a good attitude...but I am an imperfect
human being and sometimes this just isn't the case. However, with every day and
every situation faced there is a new opportunity to learn and to try to do
better. By the end of last night's laser tag marathon I had realized once again
that attitude really is everything. This is the story of a bad attitude turned
right, but I have to acknowledge where I started and how it went wrong first.
In hindsight I really shouldn't have been there at all
last night. I had been under the weather this whole week, but I genuinely
thought I was over the round of sickness that had me down since Monday night.
After the first game I immediately realized that running around the arena was
not a great idea as I felt a cold sweat breaking out that was quite different
from the healthy feel I normally experience after getting a good workout. I
knew then that I may have started out feeling a little better, but I was not yet
feeling one hundred percent. However, I was already there and figured I'd play
through it anyway. Plus, I refused to violate my number one rule of laser tag: make no excuses.
Now, going into the first game I felt fine. Ready for a
comeback. A couple of the guys who are regulars there too played on my team and
in that first round I felt like everything was on. We came out of the round and
checked the monitor. My name was at the top. The guy I am now referring to as
"Bhodi" (who edged me out every game last week and is now the one I
consider my greatest competition in the arena) was on my team and was listed
second. However, here's something interesting...we actually tied. Let's take a
moment to examine what happens here in the case of a tie...
...I genuinely don't know! And neither did the game master. I will
speculate on what might have happened based on two previous games I was in
where a tie occurred. Let's look at what happened in three games that all ended
in ties.
Last night:
Previous tied game 1:
Previous tied game 2:
Of course someone has to be listed first on the board,
even in a tie...the question is whether or not that positioning is random or
not. "Bhodi" noticed that he was listed second even though his
accuracy was better than mine (no surprise there...I shoot at everything and
nothing), and it was interesting to observe that accuracy was not the
tie breaker. To be sure I examined the other two example games and the accuracy
was not a factor there either. So let's write that off as a consideration
(accuracy is nice, but clearly only results matter). Then I figured that
perhaps it had to do with alphabetical order. I played as Legend and he played
as Rocket. Did that make a difference? Well, I'm not sure. (Side note - my thanks
to the other player who always helps me make sure I find my favorite pack. Since I can't play as "Tivia" here like I do in other arenas I
do like to play as Legend whenever possible.) In previous game 1 where I played
as Hyper I came in ahead of the guy I tied with named Ace, so in that other
instance alphabetical order did not factor. And in previous game 2 I was also
playing as Legend and was listed ahead of Predator, but if alphabetical order
doesn't hold as the constant then that could have just been a coincidence. Then
I thought perhaps team placement was the determining factor. In previous games
1 and 2 my team scored higher in total than the team of the player I tied with.
In the case of last night's game, we were both playing on the red team and our
team (by virtue of less players, not lack of ability) collectively came in second
to one with an abundance of players (one reason I generally put no stock in
team placement). So...a tie on the same team means back to alphabetical? I
simply don't know. Maybe. Or maybe it's completely random. Or maybe the system
is inherently chivalrous to the lady - just kidding :) I'll just say that for
the first game we shared the win and that I've probably put way more thought
into the mechanics of the scoring process than anyone else in that arena.
So, the first game was successful...but, man, did it
drain me! By the time the second game came around I was starting to feel my
attitude turning south. I simply didn't feel like being there any longer, but I
had driven over an hour and paid for the full night, so I carried on. That
game..."Bhodi" beat me. Game after that..."Bhodi" beat me.
Just like last week! And again, I'm coming in second each time, so it's not
like I'm missing it by much, but with every game played I felt my attitude
growing worse and worse. Yes, I did offer my congratulations each time
(sportsmanship is always important), but I felt lousy physically and I was
starting to feel lousy mentally. By the middle of the night I just wanted to go
home (and I even verbalized this to another player during one of the games), but damn pride kept me
going as in my head I said to myself "I cannot go through another blowout
like last week, I'm NOT leaving here until I have won again" (apparently
the tie at the beginning didn't satiate my competitive nature). As I type this
in the clear light of morning I of course recognize how stupid that was. And
with each game where I came close, but missed the mark I found myself growing
more and more irritated...not truly at the result, but rather because I was too
stubborn and couldn't let myself off the hook to just call it a night early.
Interestingly enough, the wrong attitude can diminish a
win just as quickly as it can exacerbate a loss. I'm not calling anyone out,
but I will say there were moments of a mildly hostile vibe going on in the
arena at times (just heavily competitive? Maybe...but no). And the attitude
needs to be right or it can sap the joy out of the fun and momentum of the
moment for the individual and the team in any instance. That's my "the
more you know" observation from the other side of the coin. At this point
I think it's worth sharing the tenets I've learned through my study of the
martial arts...self confidence, respect, integrity, perseverance, self-control,
courage, humility and discipline...sir!
By the sixth game of the night I was so ready to just be
done that I exerted every bit of energy I had. Thankfully, that one paid off. I
took the top score at last (and in a round where the game master even jumped in
to play too...bonus) and at that point I would have, could have and should have
just said "thank you and good night"...but I didn't. And the only
reason I didn't was that I was within just a few points from earning another
one of those silly South Park figures in the arcade and decided to stick it out
long enough to get the points to put me over the top (and even as I write
that last sentence I have to wonder where the marketing executive-business
woman that I am all week long goes to when I take these little excursions from
reality on the weekend). So, I hung out a little longer until the next game was
called and as that happened the thought flying through my head was "damn,
I have to go try and do that again"...get the picture about how lousy my
attitude was? Even coming off a win didn't help turn my mind around.
I lost that game. I try not to think of missing the mark
as a "loss", but in truth I had already lost it in my head and only
played with half my heart. Honestly, I walked half of it. That's not an excuse,
it's just the truth of how little I had in me that round. What was even the
point in staying to do that? I think I came in third...I might have even been
fourth. I don't know and I genuinely didn't care. Then I gave myself a little
talking to about how attitude matters. Thankfully, I got my head right, just in
time.
The last game of the night was different. Not just for
me...I could tell that there was a collective change in attitude by then. At least
I feel like it was collective, however once you change your own head space
maybe the world just looks brighter regardless of whether anything else is
different at all. After deciding to play it out to the very end I reminded
myself that this hobby is for fun and if I'm going to be there at all I really
just need to bring my best self regardless of how I feel or where I place. A
moment to make the decision to be positive was something I could have
benefitted from earlier, but better late than never. That holds true in all
aspects of life.
To me, this final game was really the first game of the
night where I felt like I was playing on a team that actually acted like a team
and I wanted to be part of that. "Bhodi" took the lead on calling out
a quick strategy plan. Those of us who were versed in it followed the maneuver and
by mid-game I felt the way I wish I had all night. I was playing hard (last
round, nothing to hold back) and I was watching my teammates' backs, calling out
warnings and heads up on opponents trying to approach, while generally feeling
like I too had allies again. Now, it may just be a matter of my own perception
at that point, but that's the way we should all strive to play every game.
Teamwork is great. Supporting one another in achieving a common goal is how
this game works best. You don't always get that, but when you do the experience
can be wonderful. That's what I felt coming out of that final round. Then we
looked at the monitor. The team had collectively won, but as far as scores I
was once again second to "Bhodi"...and for the first time that night
I was totally fine with that. My attitude by the end was good, I left on a
positive note...and, trite as it was, I had enough points to take home a little
reminder of how much a good attitude matters...
On South Park they always say "they killed
Kenny"...but Kenny will be my reminder that "they" can't kill
you...only if you bring the wrong attitude in to begin with can you be sunk.
Remember to make that space between your ears a positive place and you will
feel like a winner no matter what because the final outcome is only a small
part of it, while the attitude you bring really is everything.
If you have comments or questions please visit my website
at www.tiviachickloveslasertag.com or email me at tivia@tiviachickloveslasertag.com.
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